I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an iconic tough guy. Yet, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also headlined several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35th anniversary this holiday season.

The Film and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. During the movie, the crime storyline serves as a basic structure for Arnold to film humorous interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous involves a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and states the former bodybuilder, “It's boys who have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “I appreciate the insight.”

That iconic child was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the child stars and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films in development. He also is a regular on popular culture events. Not long ago recalled his memories from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're snapshots. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there briefly, read a small part they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was extremely gentle. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I knew the air around him — it was exciting — but he wasn't scary to me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd tense up and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word taboo meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and she was right.